Supervisor vs Friends

Early in my career I applied for the same supervisory position 3 times. I never got the position and was once told I wasn't supervisory material. They did not elaborate so I'm still not sure why they thought that. After not getting the job for the 3rd time, I left that department, well I left the library and took part in a 12mth secondment. The secondment gave me time to reflect and look in from the outside. Look in at myself and at the position I left. I came back with new motivation and ended up taking a slightly different direction with my career. I haven't looked back. But it took me a few more years to finally get in a supervisory role - and really here I am.

I have been told numerous times that you can't be friends with the staff you supervise/manage. Well in my POW I manage 3 branch libraries, all located in a small LGA. Total population at the 2006 census saw us in the 13,000 range. I have a small staff of 4 permanent part timers and 6 casuals. Moving from a metropolitan area where I knew people in my suburb and my POW was just that a POW. Yes I had friends at work but I didn't supervise/manage them. They were my work friends. But I also had friends outside of work. Moving here - I didn't know anyone other than my own family and then the people I work with - my staff. It was hard not to become friends with them as they were all I was seeing in the first months of moving here.

So yes, friendships formed and they are great people. But when it comes to doing the hard stuff - like changing "this is how we've always done it" to "this is how it should be done" - being friends makes it hard.

I'll admit that one of my weaknesses is that I like to be liked. So if I have to do things that may make a person not like me - then perhaps I decide it's easier just not to do it. Hmm, as a manager you can't really do that. Especially when it effect the quality of service we are supplying to our customers. So how do you approach it??

I first thought I would go slowly slowly. I wouldn't come in guns a blazing and start off with putting the foot down. I'd get to know everyone and how each branch operated. Then I'd make little changes. I'd talk with the staff and suggest things - see how they reacted and then implement when they were on side. This has worked in some cases - in others it hasn't and I suppose after 3 years the foot may have to start to come down.

Perhaps those people who said I was not supervisory material were right - or perhaps it's down to the people I'm managing. Or perhaps it's just all a learning experience but 2012 will tell because I think the foot may be coming down harder than in the past.

I'd like to hear from others who've had to work with and manage friends and how they tackled it.