The Woman in the Mirror

Since February this year I have lost 10kg.  February saw me join the local women's boot camp and amp up my exercising.  June saw me take up running and I haven't looked back.

I've wrote about this before, but I have been exercising a lot during my life.

During school I was not so much a keen exerciser.  I was plump and was not fast and not really "good" at any form of sport.  I was good at cricket and often think I could've gone somewhere in that sport had I been born in a different era.  Girls playing cricket was not something that was supported in my day.

It wasn't until my last two years of school that I became interested in exercising.  Unfortunately, that interest became an obsession and I spent 2 years battling an unhealthy food/exercise obsession.  It almost took over my life with counting calories and burning them off through exercise.  It was not a good time of my life.

Moving on, I took a job in Emerald Central Qld and while the obsession never left me totally, it eased up as no one knew me as the chubby girl.  I reinvented myself in a way.  I got involved in the local gym and eventually became an aerobics instructor.  Exercise became an obsession again, but I was still fueling myself with enough food.  So it wasn't as unhealthy as the last time.

Once I met my husband, the obsession lessened - I still had to do something, e.g. walk everyday but it wasn't the be all and end all.

It's a funny thing, this relationship I have with food and exercise, and I really was trying to find ways to explain it when I came across this article in an issue of Runner's World.

Peter Sagal's article, A Thin Line, sums up my journey spot on.  And like Peter, my battle with the fat girl in the mirror, continues and possibly will all my life.  I'm not sure how to overcome it.  I know I'm certainly not like the girl who battled the food/exercise obsession during my late teens - but the line is always there.  It's just a matter of the battle not to cross it.

For my daughter's sake, I work hard at presenting exercise in a positive way, without the attachment to fat and thin.  I attach it to being healthy.  I work on my self esteem so that I be a good role model for her.  What makes it hard is the media and our own expectations of accepting people based on appearance.

Food should not be about being good (eating healthy) and bad (having a piece of cake) - it should be about energy to do what we need to do.  Funnily enough, I think women are our own worst enemies.  How many times have you had your friend say to you - oh you're being good - when they see you eat some fruit.  Or - be a bit naughty and have some cake.

In my head, I say let's move on from this.  In reality, it's bloody hard to.

I'm sure I'm not alone with this story, just as I found Peter's own story so much like my own.  I'm sure there are other's who read my blog who will resonate with Peter's story and mine.

Peter sums up the way I feel at the end of his article, "I run now for a lot of reasons, for fitness and for times and for friendship and for the sheer pleasure of motion. But deep inside I know I'm also running because with every step, I'm leaving Plumpkin further behind. And I'm afraid if I ever stopped, he'd catch me, and consume me in his unending appetite, and I'd have to look back into the mirror from behind his frightened eyes."

The World Moves in Mysterious Ways

What should appear on my Facebook newsfeed just a day after posting up a list of running books??

A list of "words to move you" - books about running!!

I will certainly be adding these to my list of books to read and note that some of my readers had already recommended some of them to me!

Oh and any runners who read my blog, I'm after suggestions of runs around Sydney - keeping in mind that I'm staying at a hotel near Central Station and have to be ready and have breakfast and get over to Australian Technology Park by 8.30am-9am each morning.  I plan to be out the door running at around 5.30am so I'm thinking an hour run so around 10km or a bit further.

Reading Phases

We all have them - well I think we do.  Reading phases.  Some last longer than others.

Prior to rekindling my relationship with exercise I was (and still am) an avid rural romance reader.  However, since running has jumped up a notch or two in my life I have now become a reader of runners biographies and non-fiction about running.

There aren't too many runners biographies out there - perhaps because the runners are too busy running but I have read the following so far:

• Run! 26.2 stories of blisters and bliss by Dean Karnazes
• Mile markers: the 26.2 most important reasons why women run by Kristin Armstrong
• Everything to live for by Turia Pitt
• Short fat chick to marathon runner by Kerre Woodham

And I have on my list to read:

• Running against time: how I ended up at the top of Mount Fuji by Chris Pavey
• Running to extremes by Lisa Tamati
• Believe: Sally Pearson

You may wonder why I am reading all these running biographies.  And when I first started, I wondered why too.  But it is the little bits of inspiration that you get from reading these stories that I love. 

I never plan on being an ultra marathoner or running up huge mountains, but often it's the little things in the books that you get the most out of.

And I am sure to throw in a few rural romances in there just to even things out!

I'm back - well sort of!

It's been a while since my last post and that's because I have been preoccupied with other things.

Some of you that follow me on Facebook and Twitter would know that since my last post I have become somewhat obsessed with running.  Yes you read right.  Running!

It's been a while since I've had this sort of relationship with exercise.  Prior to this obsession, I was doing boot camp (since February 2013), prior to that I was walking very regularly.  But in my past life (pre-child), I did actually run a bit.  In my past, past life I taught aerobics, ran, rode and swam regularly.  So exercise and I have had a bit of an on and off relationship.

Back when I was in my mid-teens, exercise and I did not have a healthy relationship.  Obsession overtook and I won't go into it in this blog post (maybe at a later date I'll be comfortable to write about it), but exercise became the be all and end all - and not the healthy thing it should've been.  And now I'm older and wiser, it is a bit easier not to let exercise become the focus of life - it's pretty high up but family is still the highest!!

So now exercise is "on" again in my life, I'm a bit excited to have a "hobby" as such that does not revolve around libraries.  Although since my obsession also includes reading as much as I can about running and exercise, the library is still a focus to obtain all the information!!

The people I exercise with are outside libraries and my place of work, so it is broadening my social circle and allowing me to focus on things that aren't necessarily to do with libraries.  And this is probably why the blogging stopped.

You note from my previous posts, libraries and anything related to libraries is pretty much what this blog is about - ok weather slipped in there sometimes!  Therefore, since focusing on exercise I didn't feel I had anything to share about libraries.  I wanted to write about running but then I didn't want to bore readers.

Now don't be concerned, as I am still just as passionate about libraries.  I think perhaps I'm now a more rounded individual because I have a focus that is not only related to my work.  But I must admit that I was getting overwhelmed with living, eating, breathing libraries.  So I think exercise has come back at a good time.

On a side note, there is a library conference coming up in a few weeks which I will be attending, and I must admit, that while I'm excited about what I will learn from the presentations and networking, I'm also excited planning my morning runs around Sydney!

I promise to blog about my conference learnings in early December.